If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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