i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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