is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
This is the high leading the old right now
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
