girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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