I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
