this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
