I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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