We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
