She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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