Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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