My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you traded sex for a burrito?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
