He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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