I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
