if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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