Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
