I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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