all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
