U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
