Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
