Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
