it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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