You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
