I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
