I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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