so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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