this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
