mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I puked a lego.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
