The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
