The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
