He asked to "fluff my boner.."
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
