Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
