I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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