do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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