D3 body, D1 cock
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
