You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
