Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
