Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
