i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
