Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize