im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize