If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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