puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
