i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
