And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
