ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
