I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
