idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
