That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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