doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
