Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
