ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize