You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
