We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
