Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Randomize