Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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