Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
