It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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