its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
