I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
