we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
