watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
