my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize