I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
