He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We were destined to go to rehab together
I believe in your delicious
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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