All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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