First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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