your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
