At least make sure they are 18
Why
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
