we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
