Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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