better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
