He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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