I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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